woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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