Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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