you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
