is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
