You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
