What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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