was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
