you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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