So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
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Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
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she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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