If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
