His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
