Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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