Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
