Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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