Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
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