The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize