better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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