I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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