The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
