I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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