I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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