you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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