It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
