Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
