Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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