So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
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He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Vodka?
Forever.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
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All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I love you.
Bad choice
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