ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
