Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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