all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
