I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
