Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
