So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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