normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
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Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
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I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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