After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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