She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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