if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
lets start a swedish sibling band together
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
