dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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