actually, I'm a sock model
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
