It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
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