This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
