my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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