party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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