Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
