im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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