i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
