No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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