quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
