What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
