yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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