6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
