No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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