I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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