Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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