I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
