You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
