theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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