I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
